I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Less talking, more tequila
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
