You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
