We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
