Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
