i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
no, he came in my armpit
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
