just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize