Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
where are you?
Hypothermia
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
