I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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