I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
