I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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