'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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