The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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