i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize