Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
