It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
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i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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