So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
