Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
