Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
