Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
