Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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