sarcasm needs its own font
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
