Me. At least after what I've been through.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
