i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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