I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let's get the cat blown out
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
