to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
