OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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