she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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