i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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