I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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