There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
