Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
