ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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