Screwed.edu
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
