Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My pussy is not your playground.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
