in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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