Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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