Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
