Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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