i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
