i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
