I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize