I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You ruined the universe
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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