Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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