when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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