Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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