I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
