I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
