Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
