But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Your mouth is God's brothel.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
