Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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