Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
