You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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