you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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