We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
