The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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