I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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