Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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