Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The air was thick with penises
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
