My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
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Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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