I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
